Assignment 8 - Benjamin Givens

Fears: Failure, Imperfection
Annoyances: Disorganization, Pressure, Limited time
Accomplishments: Programmatic understanding, Relative Academic Success
Confusions: Orientation, Motivation, Discipline
Sorrows: Not productive as desired, Many incomplete projects
Dreams: Collegiate success, Relative career success
Idiosyncrasies: Twitching, Gaming interest
Risks: Avoid
Beloved Possessions, Now and Then: Books (then), Computer and Peripherals (now)
Problems: Looming assignments, Motivation/Disciplinary struggle

One of my largest struggles when trying to be successful whether in school or doing any skill has been fear of ending with something that doesn't meet my standards. There have been many papers in English and history and math that could have been turned in, but weren't because they weren't at the quality level that I expect from myself. I convinced myself that at some point I was going to revise it, and make it better. However, in reality it was a ridiculous idea. It was never going to be advanced beyond that point, even if I hated the point that it was at. This struggle cost me many late grades for no advantage. Turning in something that gets a 60% is still a greater grade than turning the same assignment for 50% credit, even if it was improved to 100% level quality. The refusal to turn in something, simply because of protecting my own ego about what the level of quality should be while a great value in theory simply didn't work, because I wasn't actually motivated enough to do the work required to bring it the appropriate level. If I had been, I wouldn't have put it off in the first place. I still struggle with this issue, though I feel that by having a personal understanding of it, it has helped me to address it.