Assignment 18 - Claire Thompson

I don't have a bucket list, and, to be quite frank, I don't want one. I do things as I wish. I want to live as freely as I can, untethered from my own inhibition. Sure there are things in my life that I want to do, but the idea of a bucket list scares: the possibility of dying without all of the boxes checked leaves me feeling empty, unfulfilled, and upset. I don't want to judge my own worth based on a catalog of things that I have crossed off a list or not. Of course I want to ride an elephant, travel the world, and find true love! But I don't want to write it down, or bind myself in any way to the abstract concept of a bucket list.
I guess if I do have a bucket list, all it says is to do things that make me happy, stand up for what I believe in, and live as freely as I can. And I can check that box as many times as I want. My favorite French cliche is not "carpe diem," but "c'est la vie."
I want to be a boundless river, the infinite desert sky, the tiniest speck of dust that flies in the wind, uncaring and unbothered by the whole ordeal. A gull is not upset when the sea breeze carries it along the coastline, largely conforming and bending to the wind's will. A dog is not upset to live for the ones it loves, almost completely selflessly. Fish are not upset at the Gulf Stream. Whales are not upset by arctic waters. Thus, I am not upset by the constant flow of life or time or inevitability. And I want to continue that way.
(That sounds fake deep, sorry about that.)