Assignment 13 - Joseph Cook

Election day is soon coming folks, and you will need a way to survive after the candidate has been chosen. This is your Post Apocalyptic Election Survival Guide.

Step one.
While you still have time, gather the necessary supplies for survival. Some good ideas of items to keep on your person at all times are: guns, ammunition, 72 hours worth of food, holy water, normal water, and a laminated copy of your will.

Step two.
To protect yourself from intruders it is a good idea to always keep your doors locked. In case of encounters with a political extremist, make sure you keep a reversible shirt that when turned inside-out it can either say "Vote Trump," or "Vote Hillary." This will ensure that no matter who you meet, you can identify with them.

Step three.
Whatever you do, DO NOT be a Latino. If Trump wins, he'll deport you. If he doesn't win, his supporters will. For more information on race change check out my book called "The Essence of White: How to Stop Being a Minority"

Step five.
Be observant. Notice anything unusual in your environment. The sound of a baby crying, a quick movement seen just out of the corner of your eye, a man with a gun aimed at your head. All of these are sure signs that something is wrong. If you feel something amiss, take a visit you your local library and ask a librarian, they are super smart. If this fails, blog about it! Everybody just loves hearing about your problems and would be happy to help.

Step six.
You are step six. That's right. You are the most important step. You know, aside from step four, but step four is too confidential. Be there. Be Strong. And don't forget to vote, people.